Yeah. Sorry China. It’s on youtube. Thankfully the great firewall is protecting you from this.
Edit: damn. maybe Witopia is protecting you from this too. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Link is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17jymDn0W6U
Upon leaving the apartment yesterday, we were heading out the main gate toward Huting Road. A car was blocking the exit gate, and the owner had left.
Reason: He refused to pay the 5 RMB parking fee for parking in our complex without the proper papers. Apparently cops were called to sort out either the owner or the car. Hope it got impounded. 5 RMB or 5000 RMB? Think about it, fucktard.
And keep your fucking car out of our complex. We paid good money for our place, and don’t want people like you taking all our parking spaces just to go to McDonalds down the street.
I’ll have a lot of catching up to do after we move into the new apartment. Suffice it to say, we’re unofficially moving in today, but still staying in Beixinjing for another couple weeks. No air-cons yet at the new place, so it’s a bit cold.
We also got the car! Dark grey Chevy Cruze. I’ll have a good story for that too.
I’ll catch up eventually with all of this.
That’s right. I said it. THE BEST!
Case #1. Line 2 Zhongshan Park. Excellent Security!
Look at Zhongshan Park line 2 entrance. Before you enter, you’ll notice the red area taped off for security reasons. They have about 3 guards, an airport-style bag x-ray machine and a nice long queue to help you appreciate the security all the more. What’s more is that the guards are trained SO well that they don’t really even HAVE to check your bag! They can look at you and simply SEE if you’re a terrorist! No need to actually scan your bag! They must be stopping hundreds of terrorist threats everyday! Terrorists, watch out! You won’t be getting onto the Shanghai Metro! Not at Zhongshan Park at least!
Case #2. Line 9 Jiuting Station. Crowd Control to Major Tom…
The Jiuting station must be a test bed for additional improvements to an already wonderful subway system. Walking into Jiuting Station, you’ll see about 3 or 4 guards inside their kiosk, and another few scattered about here and there. Nearby, only a five minute walk, is where you buy your one-shot metro card. Here’s where the magic begins!
Out of the 4 machines, only about 2 of them are working at any given time. The touch-screen system generally only works some of the time. Some don’t even take bills; only change, with handy tape & cardboard to let you know. Why is this? If all the machines actually worked, imagine the sheer chaos that would occur should everyone actually get their tickets all at once?
But that’s not all…
Another wonderous idea that have there concerns how the cards work at the entrance/exit area. Every other card doesn’t go through the first time, there-by jamming a bar into the guts of the rushing passengers. “Aiya!!!”, “Shenme?!”, “Ow!!!” & “Oouuf!!” are common grateful acknowledgments of this safety system. After the bar stops them, and the three or four people behind them come flying at them, they’ll soon know the value of patience.
Case #3. Line 9 Yishan Lu. Major Tom to Crowd Control…
If and when you do safely enter Jiuting Station, and your destination happens to be Yishan Road, you’ll be happy to know that the Shanghai Metro has organized this station in a way that, when you exit on Yishan Lu, Line 9, you’ll be greeted by four dozen happy Shanghai residence who are very happy to slow you down, even stop you should you wish to exit this wonderful subway car. Yes indeed, you’ll have to REALLY want to get off the car to be able to get off the car, as dozens of citizens vie for those coveted seats you just left empty. Imagine the excitement of trampling old women, tossing babies over your shoulder, kicking children & “unwittingly” grabbing the asses & tits of EVERYONE around you as you try to exit the car!
Shanghai really DOES have the best system in the world!
Addendum- Standing on the Right.
The metro now features “Stand on the right, walk on the left” stickers at the tops & bottoms of most of their escalators now, thanks to them heeding my advice from past posts here. Just think. In about eight years, people might start heeding the advice! Happy Everyday!
Thanks for the cameo!
Well, sort of. That’s my av on ShanghaiExpat.com. Go check it out at http://www.blogstar.tv/episode-2-party-for-the-party instead, and give http://djod.co.uk a click as well! And thanks for the cameo, guys!
Li TianQi of the ministry of Weather today said he wanted to let U.S. President Barack Obama know where he stood in China. Calling upon MOW resources, Li made sure that the rain would be pouring upon Obama’s visit. Why make it rain, we asked him.
“It’s quite simple-lah.” Li is quoted. “Remember the nice beautiful clouds during the National Day in Beijing? We did that. Now it was time to let the U.S. President know of our influence.” Temperatures dropped in Shanghai during Obama’s visit, in which he visited both government officials asking him things like “You like chinese food?” and “Busha bad-la. You think so?” and school children asking about the latest state of affairs between Sino-U.S. relations.
When asked what’s next for the Ministry of Weather, Xue Shangdi, vice minister said, “I believe Mr. Li wants to ensure a New Moon for the Spring Festival, but he’s still rather touchy on the whole ‘eclipse’ incident“.
Meanwhile, the Ministry of Time, when asked why it’s dark in Shanghai at 5 in the afternoon, merely replied that time zones are a very complicated matter. “It’ll take time.”
