Meet the Beijing Olympic Mascots!
Here we have the 5 mascots of the Beijing Olympics. These five beings will make your stay in Beijing during the Olympics peaceful, harmonious and misinformed well informed.
Beibei, in blue, is busy coordinating the Logistics of organizing the Olympics. Beibei is single-handedly cleaning up the toilets of Beijing & teaching the Beijing Taxi drivers how to correctly answer tourist questions such as, “Is that man peeing on that wall?” and “Hey, wasn’t that my hotel?”. Wonder if they’ll remember the toilets in Qingdao?
Jingjing, armed with lotus leaves on… its head is the first-strike force against the armadas of foreign journalists who will descend upon Beijing in 2008. Should they see anything out of the “ordinary”, Jingjing strikes, flying through the air, flinging lotus leaves full of mis-information and false reports, all the while transferring all below-standard toothpaste to Canada & Europe.
Huanhuan is always in touch with the PLA. Huanhuan is ready to lick any capitalist swine who dares to challenge the authority of the Beijing Olympic Mascots. That little ball on his (her?) head? Even though Huanhuan is only one-balled, it’s a big ball and it’s always tuned into the PLA Anti-disestablishmentary Tank & Da Shan impersonator Division. The Beijing Olympic Mascots have the biggest balls of all! Did you see protesters at the Olympics? Call on Huanhuan to “solve the problem”!
Yingying, also well known on ShanghaiExpat.com is the events coordinator. Rest assured, if you’re lost in the Olympic venue, Yingying will direct you to the right place… the sales area. If you’re looking for the Gymnastics venue, and you’re standing right next to it, be sure that Yingying will guide you through the onslaught of cheap watches, bags & dvd’s and within 2 hours, you’ll arrive at your point of destination. How convenient!
Nini… well, the token Aztec. This is a secret belonging only to Nini, myself and you, my 2 SinoPenn readers. Her Quetzalcoatl Power helmet allows Nini to fly through the air, spreading the love of all Chinese to the rest of the world! Nini is also the one who rid Ireland of all snakes, hence why she’s left only with feathers! After all, snakes are a foreign problem.
There you have it, folks! The Beijing Olympics Mascots! Spreading the love of all Chinese People through lead paint, defense network hacking & cardboard Baozi’s to the rest of the world!
