Despite temperatures as high as 76°F (24°C) last week, the Ministry of Seasons has indeed declared that the season continues to be winter. Locals across Shanghai are sighing, as they don their double and triple layers and thick coats & jackets once again for yet another week. Xue Shangdi, Vice Minister cites reliable sources for this decision, but refused to go into details.
Anonymous sources from the MoS, however, cite foreign influence in this decision, naming a relatively unknown entity only known as Philip of Punxsutawney. Philip seems to have ties with an underground movement in Pennsylvania, but up until this revelation, it was unknown what his affiliations were.
“It’s obvious now. Phil is indeed a communist.” says a Punxsutawney native. “He was always such a delightful chap, too.”
This revelation has also caused a stir among overseas Chinese as well. “We love our country! We really do!” says Yang Mei Mei, an overseas student. “But seriously! We’re in Melbourne! It’s like 35° here! Do we really have to wear sweaters?!”
“YES” says the Ministry of Seasons. Citing national patriotism and a need to remain in control, it was suggested that ALL Chinese must continue to stand as one and adopt the “It’s winter! You NEED layers!” policy.
On an unrelated note, the Minstry of Time continues to disavow any knowledge of Time Zones.