That’s right. I said it. THE BEST!

Case #1. Line 2 Zhongshan Park. Excellent Security!

Look at Zhongshan Park line 2 entrance. Before you enter, you’ll notice the red area taped off for security reasons. They have about 3 guards, an airport-style bag x-ray machine and a nice long queue to help you appreciate the security all the more. What’s more is that the guards are trained SO well that they don’t really even HAVE to check your bag! They can look at you and simply SEE if you’re a terrorist! No need to actually scan your bag! They must be stopping hundreds of terrorist threats everyday! Terrorists, watch out! You won’t be getting onto the Shanghai Metro! Not at Zhongshan Park at least!

Case #2. Line 9 Jiuting Station. Crowd Control to Major Tom…

The Jiuting station must be a test bed for additional improvements to an already wonderful subway system. Walking into Jiuting Station, you’ll see about 3 or 4 guards inside their kiosk, and another few scattered about here and there. Nearby, only a five minute walk, is where you buy your one-shot metro card. Here’s where the magic begins!

Out of the 4 machines, only about 2 of them are working at any given time. The touch-screen system generally only works some of the time. Some don’t even take bills; only change, with handy tape & cardboard to let you know. Why is this? If all the machines actually worked, imagine the sheer chaos that would occur should everyone actually get their tickets all at once?

But that’s not all…

Another wonderous idea that have there concerns how the cards work at the entrance/exit area. Every other card doesn’t go through the first time, there-by jamming a bar into the guts of the rushing passengers. “Aiya!!!”, “Shenme?!”, “Ow!!!” & “Oouuf!!” are common grateful acknowledgments of this safety system. After the bar stops them, and the three or four people behind them come flying at them, they’ll soon know the value of patience.

Case #3. Line 9 Yishan Lu. Major Tom to Crowd Control…

If and when you do safely enter Jiuting Station, and your destination happens to be Yishan Road, you’ll be happy to know that the Shanghai Metro has organized this station in a way that, when you exit on Yishan Lu, Line 9, you’ll be greeted by four dozen happy Shanghai residence who are very happy to slow you down, even stop you should you wish to exit this wonderful subway car. Yes indeed, you’ll have to REALLY want to get off the car to be able to get off the car, as dozens of citizens vie for those coveted seats you just left empty. Imagine the excitement of trampling old women, tossing babies over your shoulder, kicking children & “unwittingly” grabbing the asses & tits of EVERYONE around you as you try to exit the car!

Shanghai really DOES have the best system in the world!

Addendum- Standing on the Right.

The metro now features “Stand on the right, walk on the left” stickers at the tops & bottoms of most of their escalators now, thanks to them heeding my advice from past posts here. Just think. In about eight years, people might start heeding the advice! Happy Everyday!

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  1. 开心凡人 says: