Sea of JAPAN

One, it's the fucking Sea of Japan, not the Sea of Korea.

Two, The map was published in China. If they see fit to call it the Sea of Japan, argue with them, not me.

Three, it's a fucking map. I don't give a rat's ass. World opinion doesn't always go with China or America either. Get used to it.

Four, when the kid's got ADHD, he can't fucking help it. I'm not punishing him for something he can't control. Trust me. I know from 3 years of Ritalin enduced experience.

Ranting over.

Sichuan Earthquake

By now, most people know of the news about Sichuan's Earthquake. For the sake of those back home, we were nowhere near that area, so it's all good here (I know what your China geography is like. ;) ). Shanghaiist is posting the story, with over 100 updates already. Check it out here.

Reuters also has news & pics.

Red Cross donation information is here.

What? Post? Oh Crap...

Yep, I've temporarily abandoned yet another blog, but it's all good. I'm back with a vengeance!

What's new? Let me think... the locals are protesting LV and Carrefour. Carrefour is dealing with it while LV has come out and said the protesters boycotting LV can't afford their products anyways. They're probably right. Grace has suggested reading Han Han's blog (Google Translated) for one Chinese Netizen's reactions to all the Pro-China, anti-everyone else ferver going on. The writer, Han Han quit high school and has thus spared himself from traditional Chinese education. Judging by the comments on some of his posts, his "more educated" compatriots don't exactly understand what he's talking about. Google Translate doesn't help much, but you'll get the drift, I'm sure.

More later.

Eric Vs. Century Mart, Part 2

I think I broke my blog. Anyways...

I know this was stupid of me, but I had to go in there to pick up something last night. I'm thinking 9:20pm, shouldn't be too hard. 9:23 I got my item. 9:25 I was in line.

9:47 I was finally out and on my way to KFC.

There were two groups in front of me, both doing their "STOP!" thing. Except the first group had to argue with the woman about just about everything. Apparently their last order wasn't quite enough for them to use up the two 5 RMB coupons they'd already collected, so they're arguing amongst themselves.

"Lets get tissues!"
"We already HAVE Tissues!"
"Okay, how about laundry soap? It's right there."
"We already bought laundry soap!"
"But it's just right there. Let's grab it and go!" (the sensible one)
"We don't need it!" (the guy pissing me off.)

I'm mostly guessing judging by their facial expressions, my somewhat limited Chinese & where they were pointing.

It's starting to turn into an artform on who can get closest to 200 RMB to get that coupon.

The next people up in line only had 2 air purifiers, a few boxes of wine & various other things. Not that much at all, but some pricy stuff.

Price came to 250 RMB. Too late to yell "STOP!" but the guy had a plan.

"We don't want that purifier. Put this bottle of wine on there instead."

Price is down to 205 or something like that. Finally they can pay and continue.

Next batch: 270 or so RMB. Again, remove the purifier. Add a few other things... Price closer to 200.

Pay & continue. Last batch. Two cheap purifiers. DAMNIT!!! Again, just short of 200! What on earth will THEY buy? The Suspense is KILLING ME!!!

The guy turns around & sees me and my one item and says "sorry" with his Summer Teeth grinning the whole time. I said nothing.

They got what they wanted and proceeded to pay, using the 2 coupons they'd already collected. But then he pulls out a stack of cards. Gift cards, maybe, but there looked to be about 20 in all. The cashier had to scratch something off every single one of them, manually enter the cards, individually, one at a time, a single card at a single time, scratch, enter, scratch, enter... you get the idea.

Anyways, they finally buggered off, and I got there with my single item (yes, it was actually quite necessary to get this item at this time). The girl smiles, says, "Ni Hao! :D " I hand her the item, 10 rmb, get the change and get the fuck out of there, that cheeky Summer Teeth smile still etched in my mind making me even more furious. 9:47 according to my mobile. 22 fucking minutes for that.

Congratulations, Century Mart!

You've made the lines at the checkout 5 times SLOWER than what they were before! How did you do it? By offering a 5 RMB coupon for every 200 RMB spent at the cash register!

How this works: Say you're out shopping with the missus & the little ones. Fill your cart up nice & full. Now, head over to the check out area.

Unload your cart, but keep an eye out on the total price. When it goes over 200 RMB, shout, "STOP!!!" and pay & get your coupon, and let her bag everything up. Start again. Unload more groceries, yell "STOP!!!" at 200 RMB, pay & get your coupon. Wash, Rinse, Repeat ad nauseum.

Congratu-fuckin'-lations on making an already slow line even slower!

All I want for Christmas is Shanghai Fox!

And I'm giving it twice this week!

We're broadcasting TWICE this week! Today and Tomorrow!!! For the Christmas Season, we have a few old classics from the days of Dean Martin & Nat King Cole, as well as some Trans-Siberian Orchestra. We also have some newer stuff, such as Adam Sandler, and a few Christmas Comedy songs as well. Have a listen, and if you bookmarked the broadcast from last time, it's that time to change the bookmarks... new IP this week.

Current Links
For Winamp (and a few others)
http://124.77.227.103:8000/listen.pls

For Windows Media Player
http://124.77.227.103:8000

On Windows Media Player, you'll have to click "File" then "Open URL" and manually cut/paste the WMP link to get it to work.

For Winamp, VLC, Media Player Classic, iTunes... click the link & open in whatever player you want to try.

Leave a comment on www.chinaexcursions.com/shanghaifox if you like what you hear.
Also, check out the forums on ShanghaiExpat.com : http://www.shanghaiexpat.com/index.php?name=MDForum&file=viewtopic&t=66276&start=0
www.terascape.net/shanghaifox.htm will show you what's recently played.

You NO buy enough junk! You buy More!

More riots in the land next to the rising sun. This time it seems tourists are getting fed up with having to shop till you drop on organized tours. It's an old scam, though, as back in 2000, when we went to Mexico, we were also deposited at a couple souvenir shops here & there. I can, however, understand how they might feel.

Some Chinese tour guides make extra income through commission given to them by shop keepers who make good sales out of tourists. One guide with a group of 100 or so spend-happy tourists, can rake in an extra few thousand RMB per trip. The greedier the tour guide, most likely, the more you're going to land at a few shops & stalls here & there.

In this case, the tour guide made all the wrong moves.

They were on a day trip from Hong Kong on Tuesday, but after visiting one or two local sites and a number of shops, were told they had not spent enough by their local guides. ~Richard Spencer

That's a hell of a thing to say to your group. The tourists were told they must spend at least 421 RMB, were then dropped off on a beach, and were not allowed back on the coach. According to one of the tourists (as seen on the video), they were threatened by the tour guides that if they DIDN'T spend that much, they would be abandoned there. They rioted. Police showed up, riot police showed up, and it didn't end for the next 5 hours. Anyways... see for yourself. Courtesy of Reuters.

Why Don't We Do It in the Road

The man behind "MyLaowai" and our missus's and I had a great (well I thought so, he wasn't so impressed) hotpot dinner last night. After a lively discussion last night about various topics concerning China & the locals here, as I mentioned in my last post, I figured he's a bit on the extreme side... which I've always known. Me, I have my "Bad China Days" but I don't take it too seriously. I have hope for people yet.

However, is this hope misplaced? From The Shanghaiist.

Click the link until Blogger allows Youtube again. (what the hell, guys?)

Unbelievable. I'm sure you can figure out what this guy is doing. And in front of a sign prompting for, "civilised behavior" before the Beijing 2008 Olympics.

Chinese in the US in the 19th Century

"Kiwi" of Shanghai Expat fame posted this piece on the forums, and I thought I would share here. Written by Mark Twain, the story gives interesting insight into what Chinese life was like back then, some in Virginia, but mostly in California.

Chapter LIV

Roughing It - by Mark Twain

Of course there was a large Chinese population in Virginia--it is the case with every town and city on the Pacific coast. They are a harmless race when white men either let them alone or treat them no worse than dogs; in fact they are almost entirely harmless anyhow, for they seldom think of resenting the vilest insults or the cruelest injuries. They are quiet, peaceable, tractable, free from drunkenness, and they are as industrious as the day is long. A disorderly Chinaman is rare, and a lazy one does not exist. So long as a Chinaman has strength to use his hands he needs no support from anybody; white men often complain of want of work, but a Chinaman offers no such complaint; he always manages to find something to do. He is a great convenience to everybody--even to the worst class of white men, for he bears the most of their sins, suffering fines for their petty thefts, imprisonment for their robberies, and death for their murders. Any white man can swear a Chinaman's life away in the courts, but no Chinaman can testify against a white man. Ours is the "land of the free"--nobody denies that--nobody challenges it. [Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.] As I write, news comes that in broad daylight in San Francisco, some boys have stoned an inoffensive Chinaman to death, and that although a large crowd witnessed the shameful deed, no one interfered.

The story continues on ReadPrint.

Judging by the treatment of the Chinese historically in the US, according to Mark Twain, one can see some of the same treatment in China given to some expats as Americans to the Chinese in the essay. During my recent "Field Trip" it was suggested that all of "us laowais" can earn so much money here, and yet disrespect the local population. While they were lining their pockets with our "fines", they made sure we would understand that the Chinese people were proud. Are all expats like that to Chinese? No. Are all Chinese like that to expats? Of course not. While my views & opinions can get somewhat extreme (I'm not as bad as my laowai friend here is), never confuse my bitterness toward the powers that be with any bitterness toward 90% of the local population. There is still that 10% though that I'd love to toss right into the Huangpu River & watch them sink in that oily, chemically enhanced cesspool.

Meet the Beijing Olympic Mascots!

Here we have the 5 mascots of the Beijing Olympics. These five beings will make your stay in Beijing during the Olympics peaceful, harmonious and misinformed well informed.

Beibei, in blue, is busy coordinating the Logistics of organizing the Olympics. Beibei is single-handedly cleaning up the toilets of Beijing & teaching the Beijing Taxi drivers how to correctly answer tourist questions such as, "Is that man peeing on that wall?" and "Hey, wasn't that my hotel?". Wonder if they'll remember the toilets in Qingdao?

Jingjing, armed with lotus leaves on... its head is the first-strike force against the armadas of foreign journalists who will descend upon Beijing in 2008. Should they see anything out of the "ordinary", Jingjing strikes, flying through the air, flinging lotus leaves full of mis-information and false reports, all the while transferring all below-standard toothpaste to Canada & Europe.

Huanhuan is always in touch with the PLA. Huanhuan is ready to lick any capitalist swine who dares to challenge the authority of the Beijing Olympic Mascots. That little ball on his (her?) head? Even though Huanhuan is only one-balled, it's a big ball and it's always tuned into the PLA Anti-disestablishmentary Tank & Da Shan impersonator Division. The Beijing Olympic Mascots have the biggest balls of all! Did you see protesters at the Olympics? Call on Huanhuan to "solve the problem"!

Yingying, also well known on ShanghaiExpat.com is the events coordinator. Rest assured, if you're lost in the Olympic venue, Yingying will direct you to the right place... the sales area. If you're looking for the Gymnastics venue, and you're standing right next to it, be sure that Yingying will guide you through the onslaught of cheap watches, bags & dvd's and within 2 hours, you'll arrive at your point of destination. How convenient!

Nini... well, the token Aztec. This is a secret belonging only to Nini, myself and you, my 2 SinoPenn readers. Her Quetzalcoatl Power helmet allows Nini to fly through the air, spreading the love of all Chinese to the rest of the world! Nini is also the one who rid Ireland of all snakes, hence why she's left only with feathers! After all, snakes are a foreign problem.

There you have it, folks! The Beijing Olympics Mascots! Spreading the love of all Chinese People through lead paint, defense network hacking & cardboard Baozi's to the rest of the world!

Expats for Olympic Torchbearers

As funny as this whole concept is, a friend of mine is running, so give Siyan your support, and throw a vote her way.

Vote for the 14% Chinese, the Rest, Swedish Chick!


If you want to see what all the hub-bub is about (and trust me, there's not that much of it really) then CLICK HERE LA.

China Daily, What are you thinking?

Stolen from ZonaEuropa, this image has to go down in posterity. It shows a screenshot from the China Daily website, which was also published on the Online edition of People's Daily. See the link above for all the details. I see another hanging coming soon in the Harmonious Society!

Edit: just realized the image is SLIGHTLY longer than the page. Just hit view image to see all of it. Too lazy to photoshop it.

China Blog Voting! YAY!

While I'm on this posting kick today, I'll add one more quickie to the blogosphere. Head on over to Chinalyst and check out the voting for blogs. You won't find Colourwolf there, but there's a few blogs there that could use a Plus Sign clicked; namely, Yellow Wings, My Laowai & Sinocidal (who's already far ahead of the pack!)

"Why no ColourWolf?" you may ask. It's quite simple. I'd rather be playing Civilization 4.


Sid Meier! My hero!

Mac Tonight? No Thanks.

Remember THIS guy?

McDonalds Ad Campaign from 1986 featuring this moon man, "Mac Tonight".

Back in 1986, "Mac Tonight" was the poster "boy" for McDonalds. This campaign lasted maybe a year or so. But here in China, he's been resurrected from the ad campaign graveyard. Last night, while Mrs. Colourwolf was working, the tv was on and a new chinese Mac Tonight commercial was played 4 times within 15 minutes.



This one is the original from '86, and the Chinese one is based on this commercial. Note to advertisers: (and this is something people in the US figured out a LONG time ago) Even if you have the catchiest ad campaign around, repeating it OVER and OVER in such a short time may actually elicit adversity toward the ad! This is the same reason I hate Nao Bai Jin & their dancing grandparents ad. That and they advertise drugs to children. In other words, I'm ALREADY sick of this fucking commercial!

Did they resurrect this in the US too? Has McDonald's run out of ideas? I guess I'll find out soon enough.

3 more days!

China Internet and Communications Crash

Well, there you have it. Those of us stuck inside the Great Firewall are now even more stuck, as the Taiwan strait that linked China's internet to the outside world has been severed by a massive earthquake. Shanghai Daily & CCTV (Central China Television) reported that it could be down for up to three weeks. This is NOT good for China nor it's aspirations to be a world power.

Billions of dollars have been spent by foreign companies & investors to locate to here in Shanghai and other parts of China, using it as their gateway to the west. These businesses rely on access to the outside world, whether it be their massive customer databases or communications with offices in other countries. What should happen if they're suddenly stricken with no means of internet communication? Let's just say these investors won't be too happy, and the market is bound to show.

IT people (including myself) have been scrambling for ways to get around this new blockage, but so far little to nothing has reared its head in hope. Places like anonymouse.org are out of reach. Other proxies are slow (including the one I'm using just to post this.) My own sites are now inaccessible from China for the time being, and I've suddenly dropped from 200 spam mails to about 5 per day. Though that last bit may not be so bad.

Shanghai Daily is offering this bit of hope now. Though with any news from China, consider the source. Note the quote, "China's Taiwan Island".

The article also mentions "Parallelism" being important in communications routes into China & the rest of Asia.

"People will start to say we can't let this happen again," according to Frank Dzubeck, president of Communications Networks Architects, a DC consultancy. "The issue here is parallelism, you've really got to have multiple paths. You can't lay all the cables in the same place." What I think old Frank is really trying to say is, "Duh! I told you this would happen!"

So for the time being, if you want to say "hi" until this mess is fixed, the one email that IS working but still has no guarantee that your message will get through, is ejones@astonschool.com. This server is based out of Hong Kong and has yet to be affected inside China. Everything else, most likely your emails will be received in about 3 weeks or so, if the amount of spam doesn't crash my entire server.

Welcome to China!!! Happy Everyday!!!

Xingping Again

As I stated before, I would get around to posting these things eventually. Dongying is up, and now it's time for Xingping. After my two week stint in Dongying was finished, I shot over to Xingping, about an hour away from Xi'an. Well, it just so happens that much like Dongying, Xingping's city is ALSO built up around a company... this one a Chemical factory. What chemicals, I don't know. The name, beats me, but I'll find out when I get back to Xingping after Christmas.

Xingping is a rather small, dusty city that has about as much to offer as a whackshack does to a Eunich. Regardless, if one wanted to make his or her mark in a certain English school there, that would be the place to do it. No competition & it's bound to grow. What IS appealing is that the food is fantastic and (I know everyone says the following only to suck up...) the people are generally friendly. Unless you work at the computer shop around the corner from Aston.

Xingping is also right near Xianyang, about 20 minutes by bus, and Xi'an, about 50 minutes & 9 RMB by bus. Between Xingping & Xianyang are the Chinese Pyramids I've always been interested in, and that I'll be scoping out up close in about 2 weeks! Most likely tombs of ancient Generals, no one has really ever excavated them, nor explored them. They're pretty much overgrown now, and some of them are even bases for farming. I hope to find out for myself by heading to that part of the countryside for some close-up pics & such. Below is one from http://earthquest.co.uk. Enjoy!

Dongying & the Shengli Oilfields

About 4 weeks ago, I spent about 2 weeks in Dongying. This city is primarily built up around the Sheng Li Oil company, named after the oil fields of the same name. There, you'll find a rather industrial city, complete with large steam pipes up & down the roads. The Aston school there is on Jinan Lu, next to the Sheng Li Park. And incidentally, just about everything in this city is called Sheng Li something. This company runs the whole town.

Dongying's people are generally rich due to the oil company. You wouldn't know it by the looks of the city though. They generally come from places like Xi'an, Beijing, and other cities to come make their mark in Dongying through Sheng Li. Others tend to be born into the work. While most seem pretty content to stay, judging by the reaction of some of the kids there, they want out.

The big expat place there is a small bar called JJ's Bar. You'll find it on Hooker Street with an all-English sign saying, "Lets Get Shitfaced!" Seriously, there's more hookers on that street than there are in the entire city! Every place other than JJ's is a cheezy KTV with the red light on & girls sitting around waiting for a mark. During one evening, one of the girls decided to venture out to find her own mark, and met me. Grabbing my arm & shouting at me, she tried to pull me into one of those places. I'm still not sure if I got the stench off me yet. Pretty bad!

Regardless, the foreign crowd there is pretty happy with JJ's, as they sport cheap beer, a foosball table, and a playstation 2 complete with Dance Dance Revolution-style dance controllers. Afterwards, it's off to 0549 (or sth like that), a run of the mill dance club complete with silly little auctions & DJ's that talk way too much.

Overall, I'm looking to go back, as the foreign manager of Aston there is a big Linux freak, and I'd be interested in comparing notes!