SinoPenn

Wow, I should really post! Been to Yangshuo but the wife has all the pics on her compy. Went through a summer term working days for a change, company’s growing and all that, saw pics of Sienna in her knickers (her fault. she blogged them!), quit smoking again, started smoking again, quit again, joined a softball league, 2nd best team in Shanghai, and that’s even after taking body shots from hookers’ belly buttons, sucked at Golden Tee, watched the Olympics (did I mention they’re OVER in 2 days?), regained my special “insomnia” skill, permed it too, I think, and lots of other stuff. Will have to update, I suppose.

Here we have the 5 mascots of the Beijing Olympics. These five beings will make your stay in Beijing during the Olympics peaceful, harmonious and misinformed well informed.

Beibei, in blue, is busy coordinating the Logistics of organizing the Olympics. Beibei is single-handedly cleaning up the toilets of Beijing & teaching the Beijing Taxi drivers how to correctly answer tourist questions such as, “Is that man peeing on that wall?” and “Hey, wasn’t that my hotel?”. Wonder if they’ll remember the toilets in Qingdao?

Jingjing, armed with lotus leaves on… its head is the first-strike force against the armadas of foreign journalists who will descend upon Beijing in 2008. Should they see anything out of the “ordinary”, Jingjing strikes, flying through the air, flinging lotus leaves full of mis-information and false reports, all the while transferring all below-standard toothpaste to Canada & Europe.

Huanhuan is always in touch with the PLA. Huanhuan is ready to lick any capitalist swine who dares to challenge the authority of the Beijing Olympic Mascots. That little ball on his (her?) head? Even though Huanhuan is only one-balled, it’s a big ball and it’s always tuned into the PLA Anti-disestablishmentary Tank & Da Shan impersonator Division. The Beijing Olympic Mascots have the biggest balls of all! Did you see protesters at the Olympics? Call on Huanhuan to “solve the problem”!

Yingying, also well known on ShanghaiExpat.com is the events coordinator. Rest assured, if you’re lost in the Olympic venue, Yingying will direct you to the right place… the sales area. If you’re looking for the Gymnastics venue, and you’re standing right next to it, be sure that Yingying will guide you through the onslaught of cheap watches, bags & dvd’s and within 2 hours, you’ll arrive at your point of destination. How convenient!

Nini… well, the token Aztec. This is a secret belonging only to Nini, myself and you, my 2 SinoPenn readers. Her Quetzalcoatl Power helmet allows Nini to fly through the air, spreading the love of all Chinese to the rest of the world! Nini is also the one who rid Ireland of all snakes, hence why she’s left only with feathers! After all, snakes are a foreign problem.

There you have it, folks! The Beijing Olympics Mascots! Spreading the love of all Chinese People through lead paint, defense network hacking & cardboard Baozi’s to the rest of the world!

I work at this place that claims to be a center of learning for the youth of Shanghai (and Anhui & Xinjiang too, apparently) and in general, it’s a decent place. It’s not the best in Shanghai, but probably not the worst either. They generally treat people well, pay well & provide a contract before your last day of work (which is always helpful.) At least I thought that until a few weeks ago when I saw this:

Looks like a typical building. Dance classes on the top floor. Some classrooms below. Right?

But wait! What’s that?

From Shanghai, Chi…

Can it be? Do my keen bloodshot eyes spy a worker of the harmonious society halfway up that monolithic cliff of urban concrete? Is there life here after all?

From Shanghai, Chi…

Yes, there! My eyes deceiveth me not! A worker of the harmonious society, and of the blue collared nature if I’m not very much mistaken! Well I’ll be damned, up in the sky, fixing the school air-con, no straps, no nothing to save himself from a plummet-ty death. (The white thing around him is debatable… see below).

From Shanghai, Chi…

One Week Later…

From Shanghai, Chi…

Not the same worker, nor aircon, but someone came to the rescue! Kind of hard to see, but this time it’s there in white. A harness held by another worker, possibly from the week before. Do ya think he may be a bit bitter for not getting the same courtesy a week prior?

Two Weeks Later…

From Shanghai, Chi…

Same Air-con, possibly the same worker, again with help. Workers’ rights are looking up in this side of town. There may be hope yet!

I’ll look for the red stains next week on the basketball courts below to see the end results.

Some of this post was gratuitiously ripped off from Sinocidal. 88|