Ministry of Weather says “NO” to eclipse
The Ministry of Weather, after being snubbed by its request that the moon not eclipse the sun, had ordered a rainstorm over Shanghai for the morning of July 22nd. At around 5am this morning, the storm clouds moved in as requested, blocking out the view Shanghai would’ve had of the historic Astronomical event.
Anonymous sources inside the Ministry has stated that the “harmonious, stable and strong China cannot allow such an event to occur, lest it show that China is under the influence of extra-terrestrial powers.” The ministry also stated emphatically that “There shall be no eclipse as long as Kirk lives!” It is currently unknown as to who “Kirk” is.
When asked why the storm didn’t affect other parts of the country, the Li TianQi, the Ministor of Weather, issued the following statement:
We are baffled as to why the moon hasn’t withdrawn from the sky, and have since sent notice for the moon to justify its actions. The Ministry of Weather is righteous in its request. Its non-compliance can only be seen as a slap to the face of all Chinese. We’ll be looking into taking further actions against the moon.
Other sources state that reasoning behind this decision is not fully known, but it’s speculated that the Vice-Minister, Li TianQi had contacted the moon to “stay clear of the sun” as he and the Minister had boating and fishing plans that day.
When interviewed about whether or not the moon can be swayed to stay clear, the sun simply said, “BOOM! CRACK! SSSSSSSSS!“. The moon had no comment.
In other news, the Ministry of Time may had indeed discovered time zones, but the related documents had been misplaced somewhere on Lower Tongren Road.
