SinoPenn

Li TianQi of the ministry of Weather today said he wanted to let U.S. President Barack Obama know where he stood in China.  Calling upon MOW resources, Li made sure that the rain would be pouring upon Obama’s visit.  Why make it rain, we asked him.

“It’s quite simple-lah.”  Li is quoted.  “Remember the nice beautiful clouds during the National Day in Beijing?  We did that.  Now it was time to let the U.S. President know of our influence.”  Temperatures dropped in Shanghai during Obama’s visit, in which he visited both government officials asking him things like “You like chinese food?” and “Busha bad-la.  You think so?” and school children asking about the latest state of affairs between Sino-U.S. relations.

When asked what’s next for the Ministry of Weather, Xue Shangdi, vice minister said, “I believe Mr. Li wants to ensure a New Moon for the Spring Festival, but he’s still rather touchy on the whole ‘eclipse’ incident“.

Meanwhile, the Ministry of Time, when asked why it’s dark in Shanghai at 5 in the afternoon, merely replied that time zones are a very complicated matter.  “It’ll take time.”

Sorry, Sienna! Couldn’t resist this one!

As mentioned HERE about 2 & 1/2 years ago, I have an unhealthy, violent reaction when two dorktards decide to stand next to each other on the escalator, ignoring the plight of the hurried impatient people who generally like to WALK up the stairs.  Sure they’re moving FOR YOU.  But that doesn’t mean I want to stand for 5 minutes while I slowly ascend out of the Shanghai Subway Abyss.

However, recently, Shanghai’s own HAIBAO has heard my pleas and has now graced the metro system with his presence.  He’s looking at YOU, idiot couple who can’t wait to get a room, and have to stand necking on the escalators.  And YOU, morons who stand in the MIDDLE, yapping nonsense on the phone.  And ESPECIALLY YOU, walls-of-girls who can’t seem to unattach yourselves from each others shoulders.  Haibao is watching, and he’s waving his blue fists at YOU! In ANGER!

Shanghaiist talks about it here.  Have a read, and applaud the new metro hero!

Haibao will Mess you up if you stand on the left.

Eric woke up this morning at around 4:00am and got himself a copy. Claiming he woke up because of a “fucking mosquito”, he decided to stay awake, get online, read the latest news & fire up Fox News Talk.

Usually he wakes up around 5:00am. He can’t explain why. He just does. Eric has also stated that he “might have a cold.”

Comments from Tianya:

lili:

Wow. He’s stronger than me.

xiaoxiao:

He should drink tea. He’s in China now, not America.

pengpeng： Continue reading

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