SinoPenn

After all that I had to put up with getting it, I finally walked out of Building 8 in Xinzhuang with Drivers Licence in hand!

I went back last Friday for the final time, to take my test. I looked into the office and did NOT see the “Copy!” girl in sight! Yes! I won’t go to jail for manslaughter today! After waiting there for about a half an hour, talking to a Belgian guy who apparently doesn’t HAVE to take the test, I took mine, scoring 93 out of 100, and…

She walked in. Damnit!

I waited an additional 10 minutes in line, praying I wouldn’t end up in her line.  It didn’t work.  It was my turn, and she was free.

I gave her my paperwork, she looked at it, looked at me… and smiled!  I’m thinking, what the hell?  I hate you! Don’t you hate me too?

Of course not.  She doesn’t read my blog.

She stamped away, gave me my papers, sent me downstairs to pay another 55 RMB, and wait for the card’s lamination.

While waiting for my licence, I began thinking… Was I too harsh on her?  Did I perhaps get a little carried away last two times I met her?  Perhaps she truly IS a decent person and I’m simply overreacting.  I could’ve had a “This is China” day.

Then I realized something.  NO ONE ASKED ME FOR MY PASSPORT A SINGLE TIME!

I’m almost done with the drivers license process, only having to take the test next Friday.  Though it’s becoming more and more aggrivating every time I have to deal with them.

Last week:
Went to the DMV over in Xinzhuang.  It’s my first time there, as I did the initial paperwork at a different office.  I had everything ready.  Passport, certificates, drivers license and copies of everything.  I went to the table and greeted the officer. Barely giving me a notice, she took my documents and went through them.  She wrote a few things down, handed me my passport and said, “Copy.”  She needs a copy.  Great.

“Copy.” she says again.

“Where?”

She points behind her, and says, “Copy.”

I looked behind her.  I see no copy machine.  She continues to write. “Where do I get a copy made?”

She now points to the left.  “Copy.”

I look to the left.  No copy machine there either. “Where?” I ask again.

“Copy.” She now points to the left and behind.

Must be behind the bar-looking thing.  I got up and started to walk behind the police desks, to the surprise of a couple of other officers there, and see nothing behind the bar other than stacks of boxed-up paper and an empty bottle of green tea.  I’m getting angry at this point.  I sat back down, copy-less, and she continues to write stuff down on some papers.  “I can’t find the copy machine.”  She looks up, rather annoyed at me now.

“Copy.” She says again.  Fucking hell! She’s now pointing out the door, to the left and back.

I got up again, went out the office door, back to where people usually sit and wait, looked around and still found no copy machine.  Now I’m rightly pissed off.  What the hell is this woman on about?  Is she absolutely stupid? I walked back to her again, passport in hand, and said, “I REALLY Don’t know where you’re trying to direct me to to get this copy.  Where do I have to go?”, trying my best not to yell.

“Copy.”  FUCK!  “Building 12.”  For fuck’s sake, could she NOT say Building 12 in the first place?

I went out, found building 12, got my copy made.  I returned and gave her the copies.  “Here you go,” I say calmly, thinking, please don’t say “Copy.” Please don’t say “Copy.”.

She didn’t say “Copy.”  She handed me a piece of paper with my test day on it.

FUCK!  This isn’t good.  Next week.  Now I have to talk to her further.

“I’m getting my visa renewed, so the PSB Visa office will have my passport next week.” I tell her in my best broken Chinese.  She looked up, grabbed her calendar and pointed to the test date.  “No passport okay?”

“Okay.”

Jump ahead a week.

I arrive for my test about 10 minutes early.  I saw her again, writing away, non-smiling, looking all… official, I guess.  I show her the paper with the date on it, and handed her a slip I got from the visa office that says the passport is in the visa office.  “No passport okay?”

“Not okay.”  FUCKING HELL!  YOU IDIOT! I thought.

“Fine.  Schedule me for next week.”

“Okay.”

I hate you.

I made it to the PSB office yesterday. The PSB are hunting down ALL the foreigners in the Hongquan, WuZhong Road area in an effort to catch those with either illegal passports or those not carrying passports with them (as in my case). This area houses a good number of Koreans and a good number of them were also at the PSB office with us, including local business owners we know.

Our place got fined a couple thousand RMB plus about 1000 RMB each for its 3 foreign employees. This is because the organization is Chinese-owned. Other places, schools, restaurants, bars & such, got sacked with a lot more, some ranging up to 60,000 RMB including sending a few people home packing. These were foreign-owned. Their fines included up to 10,000 RMB per person, for some, deportation (with the option of returning on a new visa) and a nice long speech from the PSB declaring how they were rich, yet should abide by the local laws. Where the rich part comes in, I’ve no idea. I’ve heard so far, roughly five Koreans, one American & one Canadian got deported, within the last few days. And this has been going on for about a month now. You do the math.

The real reason, however, is because the local jurisdiction is gearing up for the Spring Festival. For every foreigner & foreign-owned business they bring in & fine, they get a bigger, better New Years Bonus. By the looks of the PSB office we were at, they’re making some decent bonuses. About 20 people were waiting, and that’s only for the afternoon. I can see eventually other jurisdictions following suit & jumping in to cash in on the rich foreigners. So watch yourself.

As one of my colleagues mentioned, eventually you stop asking how someone on only 4000 RMB/month can afford a BMW.

A couple weeks ago, the Police raided an establishment I happen to be frequenting. That establishment, a school that caters to the Korean Expat crowd. At about 9pm, about 6 PSB officials came in & demanded to see all our passports. We didn’t have them (what expat actually does carry their passport around EVERYWHERE they go?). Because of this, we had to go to the PSB office a few days later, where they basically gave us a slap on the wrist.

What went wrong:
We had to sign a piece of paper that neither they nor the school admin could tell us what it said.
They referred to a PSB Guide book written in rather vague English.

Regardless, we had to sign, or face possible deportation. My problem is that this gig is only for a little extra drinking money. I’m an IT consultant. Not a teacher. My visa says so. But they didn’t say anything was wrong.

Now, however, they called said establishment again, and demanded to see our passports again. That was Monday. We got our passports back Monday evening. Yesterday, we were told that we will again go talk to the PSB. All I can think is that they somehow didn’t bribe enough money to the PSB and now are looking for more.

We’ll see what happens I suppose. If I get deported, I leave all my earthly possessions to my lovely wife.